Today has been a truly difficult day. My sons have seemingly fought me on every single little thing I have instructed them to do. My infant daughter was reluctant to sleep or eat because of teething, and crying so that everyone would be as miserable as she. I was frustrated, but then lunch time came around.
First, the level of frustration started to rise when Bethany, who was obviously hungry, refused to nurse or to eat anything. Then Christopher decided he did not want to eat the cheese-filled pasta I made him for lunch (usually a favorite.) Now, I know I have made things more difficult for myself because I have chosen eating as one of those "pick your battles" issues. The boys must eat at least 2 bites of whatever I have made and if they are certain they don't like it, I won't push it further. But recently, Christopher has been refusing the first bite and me being just as stubborn has decided to *make* him eat the bite. You can imagine me holding his sweet little face between my left arm and my stomach and putting the fork into his wailing, open mouth. Surprisingly, this technique has worked for him in the past. He usually tastes the food and then happily eats. Not today! He spit out the food (another battle issue for me) and my anger could not be contained any longer. I screamed, "Christopher, no spitting!" and went to wash my hands after catching said bite. I continued to scream at him from the sink and then still as I came back for Round 2. He just would not eat. I spanked him and he still would not eat. Then Bethany renewed her tears and the decibel level in the house was maddening! By this time poor Benjamin stopped eating his lunch in favor of sticking his fingers in his ears. If I had taken a look at myself in the mirror I'm pretty sure I would have looked like a fire breathing dragon. Thankfully, my husband called and talked me down a bit, but even as I write this, I feel the anger was only hastily tamped down, like a campfire with red hot wood still hidden beneath blacked timbers.
Anger is always just below the surface on some days. I have tried to be proactive and anticipate where conflicts will arise and try to head them off at the pass. Somedays, even that is not enough to stop the flow of anger from my heart. This verse is my one comfort on days such as this:
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13
So, what is the way of escape that I missed today? What strategies do you employ when tempted to be angry? I desperately want to change because an "angry mom" does not bring glory to God, she only brings condemnation on herself.
