The experiment

This is an experiment in the sense that I am hoping to test my ability to be honest and humble and invite comment on my battle against the sins of anger, pride and laziness. Before my kids were born I would have never acknowledged that anger and pride were bound up in my heart. I hope I would have had the integrity to admit that laziness has always been a struggle for me, though perhaps I am thinking too highly of myself. But now that God has given me Benjamin, Christopher and Bethany (all born within 3 years of each other) I am forced to look at my heart as it truly is. How can I begin to teach my kids how to obey me and my husband (and thereby obey God) without first learning how to obey God myself? So, I am asking God to teach me to be like him. He is the only one who can accomplish it - He is the General in this war against my flesh.

It is a painful battle - there are many casualties - but by God's grace my sin will be put to death and I will bring Him glory because I am only now facing the fact that I have been doing a very poor job of this on my own.

Monday, March 29, 2010

The truth about me.

I am a sinner.

There, I said it! I know that will make most people uncomfortable, but I had to get that out there because that is the first thing that is true about me.

The second thing that is true about me is that God loved me enough to send His son Jesus to live a perfect life on earth and then crush him on the cross so that I could claim Jesus' life as my own, His righteousness as my own and thereby be accepted as only Jesus rightfully could. I could stop there, but there's more.

The third thing that is true about me is that even though my sin is no longer counted against me, I want to put that sin to death in this life. I know that is impossible, but I am going to keep trying. Actually, God is going to keep working on me so that I will look more like Jesus on the day that I meet Him. Not for my glory, but for His - that he could transform such a wretched sinner into even a semblance of holiness. I will have no power to boast because it alone is His work in me that makes me even want to stop sinning. That's the starting point for all that follows.
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